The Fedora Project announced the development codename for Fedora 20 today. The announcement continues the recent trend of announcing pointlessly daft codenames well in advance of any work commencing in a not in any way transparent ploy to get a bit of press coverage. Fedora’s Head of Cocking about with Idiotic Names for Releases, Colin-Xaviar Tickleböllock, hosted a press conference this morning to make the announcement, and to give an insight into the process behind it.
“Ladies and Gentlemen of the press. The Fedora community and I proudly present to you, the next paradigm shifting advancement in Open Source technology. Fedora 20! Codename……. Todger Publicity Grab”.
There was then a short recess to allow the incredulity to fully sink in. After which, Mr.Tickleböllock proceeded to give details of the arsewittery that had culminated in Todger Publicity Grab.
“After the unqualified success of ‘Beefy Miracle’ and ‘Spherical Cow’ in promoting our brand without sacrificing any dignity whatsoever, we felt the process should again be put to vote amongst the Fedora Community.”
Mr.Tickleböllock then displayed the voting options the Fedora Community were given. As well as the chosen option, they also consisted of “Swashbuckle Nipple-pinch”, “Findus Lasagne”, “Girl Flaps”, “Glory Hole in a Berni Inn Toilet” and “Why is it so Fucking Difficult to Install Nvidia Drivers”.
Tickleböllock went on to explain, “After the Community had settled on Todger Publicity Grab, we wanted to understand more about why our people had such an affinity with that name. So we did some research, and the overwhelming feeling was that they wanted to retain the protocol of continuity in Fedora Codenames where the next release has a referential connection to the previous release name. With Todger Publicity Grab, they almost unanimously agreed that, only a penis after a few column inches in ‘Linux User’ magazine, would have thought Spherical Cow was a good idea.”
After the press conference, Journalists were invited to a buffet lunch, where Absinthe, Smelling Salts and Cocaine were served from a ten-foot high ice sculpture of a cock and balls. Members of the Fedora Community were on hand to discuss the finer points of the issue. One of whom had consumed an heroic amount of Absinthe did let slip that a front-runner for the code-name for Fedora 21 had already emerged. An official voting process has not yet been undertaken, but many Fedora insiders are already tipping “For Fucks Sake Can We Have a Sensible Codename This Time”, as the likely winner.
A presspack was distributed which was predominantly comprised of dreary guff about file systems and Secure Boot. It did reveal on noteworthy fact though. Despite not being on the official list of potential Codenames, the second most popular candidate amongst the Fedora Community was “Steve Ballmer is an Irritating Chubby Cocksucker.”